What I’ve Learned From My Long-Term Relationship (8th Anniversary)

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Today, Robert and I are celebrating our 8th anniversary. Or technically, not today because most probably, I will post this past midnight LOL. I’m not going to elaborate what we had done today, or I’m not going to post an open letter (we already said the sweetest notes or messages to each other already, no need to spill it out online). Instead, I’ll share what I’ve learned from this relationship.

Also, please note that  I’m by no means a love or relationship expert. These are just based on my experience.

  • Not all the time  you have the same interests

    Of course, you do have same interests but not all the time. This is the perfect time to know more about your partner. Learn to blend your interest to your partner’s interest. This is also the perfect timing to do different things than the things you both used to do.

  • Give personal space

    Yes, you’ve been together for quite some time now. But remember that both of you are still two different individuals. Everyone of us doesn’t want to be suffocated. You both still have things that should be done individually.

  • Quality time

    I know that you have to give or need personal space but make sure that you’re not using your quality time together. Being busy on other things isn’t an excuse. Always make time for each other. If there’s a will, there’s a way. This is also a perfect time to catch up on each other.

  • Take care of yourself

    Though your partner has seen you with or without make up or clothes and accepted you for who you really are doesn’t mean you’re not going to take care of yourself. Aside of feeling good about your body, physically or mentally, you still should atleast be presentable to your partner. Be the best you can be.

  • Give your full support

    Sometimes, we might disagree on things our partner wants. You just have to explain what do you think about your partner’s decision in a very calm and nice way. If they still insists and as long as noone’s going to be hurt and the decision makes your partner happy, always always support them no matter what.

  • Don’t lose communication

    We can’t avoid being busy or occupied by  different things. But again, it’s not an excuse. Noone will be occupied every second in a day. You can definitely take advantage of the technology and just tell to your partner that you’re working on things and you’ll talk to them later of the day. A single text message won’t hurt. But this will not end here, communication is also reaching out to your partner. If you want something to say, say it. If you’re afraid or confused say it. If y ou have a problem about something, share it. You have to talk. Communication is the key of everything.

  • Social media isn’t about everything

    Even we’re living in a technology world and sharing-everything-online-generation, doesn’t mean  you’re responsible to over share online. Usually, a private relationship lasts longer.

  • Money is the stupidest thing to start an argument

    Money is naturally supposed to earn and spend. If one of you mistakenly spent some bucks or a grand, no need to fight about it. You will earn it again. Just talk about it and learn from your mistakes.

  • Appreciate every little thing

    Remember that happiness starts on little things. Just be appreciative. Be thankful. Treasure every moment.

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Paano Ba Kasi Mag Move On, Beh?

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Thanks to mememaker.net for this cool meme.

Na-confuse naman ako kung pa’no i-spell ‘yong “Beh” sa title. LOL. Wala nga ako maisip kung ano ipo-post ko sa Pag-ibig Tips ko ngayon e. Pero dahil kailangan natin maging consistent, ayan, nauwi sa pagmo-move on. O nga pala, kung gusto mo makaiwas ngumawa dahil sa pag-ibig, nag post ako no’ng nakaraan ng iilan sa listahan. Andito oh.

Dahil tungkol ‘to sa pagmo-move on, gagawa ulit ako ng listahan para mas categorized. Ang taray! HA-HA.

  1. Ngumawa ka lang. Una syempre, alam nating masakit. Oo beh, masakit. Wag mo itanggi. Lalo na ‘yong tipong wala ka namang ginawang kasalanan ta’s bigla makikipag break ang ungas. Ta’s may pahabol pa na di mo kasalanan, s’ya daw ang may problema. Ah, letse! Ewan ko sayo. Pero tandaan mo, kung nasaktan ka. Hindi masama umiyak. Ingawa mo. Maglupasay ka. Ilabas mo ‘yang sama ng loob mo. Inuulit ko, HINDI MASAMA UMIYAK. Normal ‘yan. Ewan ko din ba kug bakit ‘yong iba sinasabi na wag mo iyakan. E, malamang nasaktan ka. Tao ka, may feelings din. Normal ‘yan. Ayon nga sa nabasa ko, ”Crying is a natural emotional response to certain feelings, usually sadness and hurt. But then people [also] cry under other circumstances and occasions,”.
  2. Magpakalunod ka sa alak. De, joke lang. People tend to seek comfort kasi. Alam mo ‘yon? ‘yong tipong hahanap ka ng makakatulong sa’yo i-overcome o kalimutan ang lahat. Naalala ko ‘yong trainer ko sa CNX, si Raf. Sabi n’ya hindi daw lahat ng taong umiinom e, pa-cool lang o kaya para sa barkada. Madalas, umiinom kasi may pinagdadaanan. Hindi naman ako nag-disagree sa sinabi n’ya. Alam naman natin lahat ‘yon. Hindi din natin masasabing engot ang taong nagdesisyon lunurin ang sarili sa alak dahil sa problema. Wag tayo magpakaimpokrito. Nasaktan ka, kung naramdaman mo na kahit sandali nabawasan ang sakit dahil sa alak, GO! Pero make sure na after the days being drunk, you stand again and face the freaking world.
  3. Libangin ang sarili. Humanap ka ng ibang pagkakaabalahan. Do the things you haven’t done before. Be crazy to chase something new. Uso nga ngayon ‘yong mag-travel e. Hiking o beach beach lang. Wala kang pera? Sus, ang daming mura. 350 Pesos lang sa Antipolo oh, may bundok ka nang tatapakan. Mag-aral ka ng bagong bagay, may TESDA na nagbibigay ng mura o libreng online course. Mag Zumba ka, 20 Pesos lang sa Q.C. Circle. Mag blog ka, why not? Be with your friends ang family. Lalo na ‘yong mga kaibigan na di mo na nakikita dahil busy ka sa kan’ya. Tsk. As long na nalilibang mo ang sarili mo at di mo naiisip ang mga bagay na nakapagpapaisip sa’yo tungkol sa kan’ya, gora lang ng gora.
  4. Enhance yourself. Di ko naman sinsabing baguhin mo sarili mo drastically, i-enhance mo lang. Be fit, make a new look. ‘yong iba nga nagpapagupit at nagpapakulay  pa ng buhok. Hashtag, balik alindog challenge. LOL. Bigyan mo naman ng konting halaga sarili mo. Oo, sinabi ko na umiyak ka ta’s mag-inom ka o anoman kasi nga normal ‘yon. Pero kung hindi mo pahahalagahan sarili mo afterwards, magiging losyang ka. Gusto mo ba ‘yon? Makikita ka ng ex mo, ta’s mapapaisip s’ya na buti na lang hiniwalayan ka n’ya. OMG, hell no girl. I got your back! Kailangan pag nakita tayo ng ex natin, mapapangiwi s’ya na hiniwalayan ka n’ya. Hoy, di ‘to para makuha ulit s’ya at bumalik sa’yo ah. Tantanan mo ko. Hindi din ‘to revenge. Magbibigay lang tayo ng konting kurot sa kanila. Ipapakita lang natin na hindi natin kawalan. At the same time, we are preparing ourselves sa bagong tao na darating sa buhay natin. Syempre, it gives us confidence din. Binabalik lang natin bilib natin sa sarili natin.
  5. Wag magmadali. Wag kang magmadali na makanahanap ng bagong ipapalit. Sabi nga nila, pag mabilis mo nakuha, mabilis din mawawala. Siguro its time naman for yourself. Asikasuhin mo muna ‘yong sarili mo. Make sure na okay na okay ka na. Tipong, pag dumaan s’ya sa harap mo, keber. Di ba? O kaya pag chinat ka n’ya sa gabi dahil lasing s’ya o bored s’ya, isi-seen zone mo lang. Taray mo girl! At syempre ayaw naman natin mangyari na maging panakip butas lang ang kalalabasan ng bago mo. Wag. Nasaktan ka na, alam mo ang pakiramdam. Wag mo gawin sa iba. Karma is a bitch and digital.

Pero syempre, at the end of the day, depende pa din ‘yan sa bawat tao. Meron tayong kan’ya-kan’yang coping mechanism. Oras lang talaga makapagpapahilom ng sakit. Wag din sana natin kalimutan na may mga bagay tayong natutuhan dahil sa taong ‘yon. Lahat ng ‘yan, normal. Humupa ka. Next time, magpapasalamat sa’yo sarili mo. Hugggs!

Too Good to be True Job Ads

There are a lot of things posted online about promising home-based jobs. Giving you high compensation but less work. And most of them are too good to be true! It’s saddening that most people are buying those kind of crap. And it’s ashamed because I was one of them.

I was looking for a decent home-based job on one of the most reliable site until I stumbled to an Ad. Nothing fancy on their ad and they were the only one who responded to my application. We all know that there are phases that you have to udergo to be fully qualified. And I did most of it. I was very happy that they responded, at the same time they were offering $700/month. I converted it to Peso and I was extremely happy. Though it’s kind of odd because we’re having a conversation regarding the job through Viber. Which was a little informal. So I tried to research the name of the recruiter that was stated on their first and only email.

What I found out was, it was a scam! There’s a Pinoy forum website that discusses scams, fraud jobs and what not. Lucky me, that I found it out. Unfortunately this happened on the first week of the month and I wasn’t thinking to blog about it so I deleted the email sent by them because of disappointment. So I don’t have the copy of it.  Though I have the Viber convo.

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The point is, they are not the only one who can take benefit of your needs to get a job. There’s a bunch them on internet. This isn’t my first time. I tried so many things and ended up being lied to.

I am a member of a group on facebook called Home-based Jobs for you. Technically it’s like a community helping one another to find a home-based job though of course taking benefit also when it comes to referral jobs.

I saw a post by one of the members from the said group about a job offering $25/hour. It really caught my attention to be honest. Without thinking I tried to look their website as well as the recruiter’s site. I can say, it looks like legitimately scam. LOL.

I made a research about this and found out that it is owned by Sherm Mason. There’s a lot of issues glued to him specifically scam activities. Two of the blogs I saw are generateonlinewealth.com and everyonecanmakemoneyonline.com. There’s also a youtube video reviewing about the scheme.

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It’s just so saddening that Pinoys buy this kind of thing. We cannot blame nobody because of the poverty we all experiencing in the cruel world. Putting in a nutshell, I can say that if we really in need of having an income, we make a research first. Such as reviews. Don’t stick to one or two reviews. Read as much as you can. And also, be vigilant. There are a lot of blogs providing you so many lists where you can find a decent home-based job. Well, good luck to all of us.

Aray ko, Beh.

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Hello! Ayan, kung napapansin n’yo Filipino/Tagalog tayo ngayon, para damang-dama. Saka, iba na naman pala URL ko. Ha-ha. Sorry na. Pero, ayon na nga, sisimulan ko mag-post ng Tagalog at kakulitan para happy lang, di ba?

Hindi ko alam kung bakit di ako maka-move on sa mga kaibigan ko sa facebook. Post ng post ng kung anek-anek tungkol sa love life nila. Akala yata ng nakararami, e diary o journal ang facebook. Di ko naman sinasabing perpekto ako at di ko naman itatanggi na di ko ginawa ‘yong mga gano’ng bagay, “Past is past” sabi nga ng iba. Ha-ha. Kaysa magparinig ako sa facebook ng opinyon at reklamo ko LOL, e dito ko na lang ililista lahat. Malay natin, may mapadpad na kiddo at mabasa ‘to. Makaiwas sa sakit ng pag-ibig at di na mag-post sawing damdamin sa facebook.

So, ito na nga ililista ko lahat ng natutuhan ko sa loob ng walong (8) taong relasyon para di masaktan sa pag-ibig. Pak!

  • WAG MAG-EXPECT. Kadalasan, halos lahat ata ng babae, e nag-set na ng standards. Kakapanood ng Koreanovela, o romantic movies nag-set na si girl ng mga gagawin ng boypren n’ya. Every occasion naghihintay s’ya na gagawin ng lalaki. Ta’s in the end, wala, nga-nga. Ta’s magagalit, mag-aaway, iiyak. O kaya naman, nag-e-expect na may gagawin ang boypren na something sweet, halimbawa, harana, chocolates or surprise. Ta’s pag di na meet ‘yung expectation, magpo-post sa facebook na dapat tinatrato ang babae bilang prinsesa o reyna. Di ba? Nakakaloka! We should always consider na each of us is unique. Kanya-kanyang diskarte ‘yan.
  • WAG MAG-ASSUME. Di porket sweet s’ya sayo, gusto ka na n’ya. Wag gano’n huy! Sinasabi ko sayo, ikaw lang ang ngangawa bandang huli. Join the ride, ta’s pag tumagal na ng mga 1 buwan, pwede mo na tanungin, “Hoy, ano, ano to? Landian lang ba? Tiyansingan? O pag-ibig na?” Maging prangka ka. Para di na tumagal. Pero syempre, tantiyahin mo din kung may laman ba talaga. Mamaya naman, concern na kaibigan lang ta’s praprangkahin mo. Ganda mo do’n girl! Halimbawa, pinulot lang ‘yong nahulog mong panyo, nag-feeling ka na. O kaya, sinabay lang kunin ‘yong pagkain mo sa lamesa kasi kukunin n’ya din ‘yong kanya.
  • EVERYONE IS UNIQUE. Para ‘tong ‘yong isa na WAG MAG-EXPECT. Wag mo s’ya ihalintulad sa iba na nakikita mo. Halimbawa, ‘yong jowa ng kaibigan mo sinurprise s’ya ng take-out Mcdo sa dis-oras ng gabi. Ta’s ikaw, gusto mo gano’n din s’ya sayo. Sana syinota mo na lang ‘yong jowa ng friend mo. Joke. Sabi ko nga, kanya-kanyang diskarte yan. Gusto mo perpekto? Gano’n?
  • KAHIT NAGNA-NUMBER TWO (2). Naalala ko ‘yong kaibigan kong lalaki, dumadaing sa’kin dati. Pano ba naman, pinag-aawayan nila ng dati n’ya girlfriend, e tungkol lang sa text. Ha-ha. “Gusto n’ya kahit tumat*e ako ite-text ko sa kan’ya.” Jusko day, lahat na lang. Sana tinadtad mo na lang ng CCTV ‘yong buong bahay nila para updated ka. May personal na buhay ang bawat tao. Di pa kayo mag-asawa sinasakal mo na. Bahala ka, magsasawa ‘yan. Ikaw din. Give space naman girl kahit mga 15 minutes lang.
  • KAHIT SAAN. Isa sa mga natutuhan ko, e pagtinanong ka kung ano at saan mo gusto kumain sa date n’yo, e sumagot ka. Wag, “Kahit saan” o “Bahala ka”. Kasi kung may plano naman talaga ang lalaki, di na magtatanong ‘yan. O pag nagtanong man ta’s sinagot mo ng “Bahala ka” ta’s binalik sa’yo ‘yong sagot mo mag-isip ka na. Wala talaga plano ‘yan. Kaysa pag-awanan n’yo ta’s di pa matuloy ‘yong date n’yo. Uuwi ka masama loob. Sayang ‘yong make-up mong ginawa mo ng isang (1) oras ta’s magpo-post ka ng kadramahan mo sa facebook na parang lahat ng tao may pake. LOL.

Anyway, lahat naman ng tao, e may kanya-kanyang opinyon at pananaw sa buhay. Nakakatawa lang isipin na kahit ako at boypren ko nag-aaway sa pinakasimpleng bagay. Magtatalo ta’s bigla na lang kaming tatawa at kakalma kasi napagtanto namin na para kaming tanga na nag-aaway na simpleng bagay. Ha-ha. Tingin ko, e lahat naman nagkakamali at natututo.

O sya, hanggang dito na lang muna. Mag-e-edit ako ng mga video ko at gagawin kong vlog dahil punong-puno na memory ng selpon ko. Ciao!

Hey, Monday!

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Was about to take photo for the blog and this little guy cutely ruined it.

I know it’s not Monday anymore, I wrote this down to my old 2014 planner again. So let me start this rant. Ha-ha.

I just arrived home from my 2-day adventure slash spending my 13th month pay. An additional bonus given by the company I’m working for, and it’s been a year now! It’s my first 13th month pay in my entire 23 years of existence. I know, your eyebrow rises, don’t judge me. I know what I’m doing.

In my 2-day adventure outside with my boyfriend and some couple of friends, I’ve learned so many things. A lot of realizations, changes of perspective and plans written in the air.

Literally, it’s like meeting with friends on a Sunday night with glass wine for each of us, but instead of wine, we had beer. It was a routine we were used to but we’re just grown up people now. The room was filled with people who have plans and wanted to hear each other’s plans and humor. All I heard were exchanging plans, sorrow, lessons learned and laughter. I could include it on my best nights list.

And then, I read this post by the blogger I’m following on tumblr. She said, a lot of us are waiting for the “perfect time” to do what we’re planning to. But then, we can fuck it up and do what matters most. What makes you happy. What makes you feel successful. It gave me courage to do this huge plan, maybe, I was waiting for the “perfect timing” but not anymore. What I’m waiting now, is to finish what I had started and start the new plan. Not detailed plan but a draft plan. Maybe, I just want to finish this so I could say, I have achievements. I don’t know, but I will, one way or another. Next year will be my year.

How about you? You have plans for next year already?

Bonifacio Day

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On the other side of the Earth, they are having Cyber Monday today. And us, here in the Phippines, we have Bonifacio Day. It is a Special Holiday, remembering the birthday of one of our great heroes who fought our freedom from the greedy hands of the conquers who wanted to take advantage of the wealth of our own land.

To be honest with you, there’s no other special things goin on today unless you’re one of the people who really are into politics or activities to celebrate it. And me? I’m just at home, watching the last episode of The Walking Dead this year, I’m also finishing the book I’m currently reading and killing myself by boredom.

Looking on twitter, I saw this post of Saab Magalona:

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I also saw a lot of responses from her followers. And me, myself got hook and had thought of it! Some of my complaints are:

1. If we, Filipinos could follow the stay on the right side of the lane. Like Japan does, or whenever we’re in school, I believe it was taught there, ’cause my school does, especially when we’re in public places. Bumping to people isn’t a nice idea.
2. If we could follow the line/queue responsibly. You know what I mean? Hays.
3. Please, make it a habit to cover your mouth whenever you’re going to sneeze or cough. Not everyone has strong immune system.
4. Don’t also be so insensitive spitting anywhere else or in public places or where and whenever you like. One, its gross and two, it can spread diseases! Oh my good Lord.
5. We have a lot of public vehicles here, and if you’re riding one, please sit properly unless you bought it.

Sometimes, I ended up talking myself complaining such. I don’t know, but I think it starts at home. If you could, please don’t hesitate to practice common sense rules. Better late that sorry!

Not Young, Not Wild, But Free

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If you’re reading this on my blog or any where else, finally, I’d gotten to post this! Most probably we already had a new internet provider. Well, we don’t! I’m using my phone to post this. So if you see some typo errors or what not, my apologies. At this moment, we don’t have internet at home because our internet provider — Wi-tribe sucks. And yes, unfornutely, we’re using Wi-tribe for quite some time now. Ha, would you believe our patience having business with them? We didn’t have a choice. Huhu.

Anyway, I was writing this down to my old 2014 planner that I hadn’t used that much ’cause I don’t always follow what’s written on my planner! Haha. And I was too lazy to get up and get the laptop. Maybe, I also missed writing literally since we’re paperless in the office. Anyway, I was listening to Arctic Monkeys so I’m enjoying this moment.

Since we don’t have, urgh, internet and I’m just taking advantage of the free (limited) data my telecom provider’s offering, I was just allowed to look at my fb or sometime, if I’m lucky enough could tweet once in awhile. While browsing my Facebook wall or timeline (??), I saw this post of one of my friends,

“Not young, not wild, but free.”

How cool was that right? Removing the added words is too cliche to this generation. And I just thought, yeah, yeah, that was cool.

I’m not young anymore, I’m not that wild, but I’m definitely free.

Who told me that even there’s added number to my age, I can’t do whatever I like? Who told me, in order for me to fit in, I have to do all the wild things spontaneously? And who told me that I’m imprison to this dictative and distractive world? It’s not necessarily mean that if you already tied the knot or your partner is not allowing you to do certain things you’re not free anymore. Everything is free, the only thing that we should keep in mind is, how are we going to enjoy life and be happy?

I just want to reiterate that we make our own choices to achieve so called, “happy life.” Of course, there might be bumps along the way, we may feel lonely sometimes or someone choose to let go and walk to a different direction but we might also want to consider for us to feel happy, we have to feel the sadness, loneliness, being left behind. Life has to be balance. You don’t have to do crazy things that could mess up your life because he broke up with you or so you can fit in. You don’t have to. I know sometimes life is harsh but you have to calm yourself down and think first. Like what they’d said, head over heel. Mind over matter.

I don’t want to be guru or psychologist here or teaching you on how to deal with life. Just a piece of advice. Hope this would help a little. Especially to my friends who are facing difficulties. Everything will be fine.